Mama, Would You...
Kids! They do say the darndest things, don't they? Before going on to better things, I taught school grades K-12 in Reading. So I have heard my share of one-liners and those beloved *(x##^@++>? words that seem to spring from an angry high schooler's lips faster than well, faster than fast! When my six year old daughter, Gracie, came to me today, wanting me to play a game she had invented...what's a mom to do?
Bright-eyed and excited, she proceeded to open one of her story books and look up her"game". Scanning the pages as if the words were really there she quite seriously told me that I must answer each question and to think before I spoke! (I did tell you she was only 6, didn't I?) I didn't let her know I was writing as she spoke. I'm always on my laptop. She thought nothing of it! And these are the questions she asked:
1). Would you rather have a chicken that cleaned your house or steam that blew the bugs away? That was an easy one! The chicken, of course!
2). Would you rather have square eyes or have a mouse that breaks your house with a ball? Oh, boy! What did I get myself into? Uh, square eyes?? I hate mice!
3). Would you rather have a raspberry treat or a blue mustache? No brainer, here!
4). Would you rather have a little boy still awake at 3am or a whale that saved your little girl? Yikes! Now I'm in trouble! "Think!" she tells me. I tell her,"I pass".
5). Would you rather have a hairy Indian who helps people or roast marshmallows? Whew!... Wait a minute! He HELPS people! He might discover a cure for cancer!!! Oh, geez! Clean up the guest room!
6). Would you rather have a pig that spills eggs or a wolf that cleans them up? Is that the pig that built a brick house or one of the other ones? Wait! I'm confused! The wolf ate them, didn't he? Pass!
7). Would you rather have a robot with crinkly feet or a groundhog that yells? GOOD GRIEF! My head hurts!
8). Would you rather have a hairy man as a husband or a fairy as your best friend? Is that the hairy man I divorced 20 yrs ago or the fairy that bought me a new car?
9). Would you rather have Jack's beanstalk or a fuzzy tail? Wasn't there a pot of gold at the end of that beanstalk? I'm there!
10). Would you rather have a troll who owned a grocery store or a bug who owned a soap factory? I'll take the bug. My hairy ex-husband was a troll!
11). Would you rather have a little boy who won't go to bed or a little boy who says no all the time? I've already had both! AT THE SAME TIME!
12). Would you rather have an Indian chief who brings home a lot of puppies or an Indian who sits on rocks by the river and plays the flute? I'll take a rock-sitting, flute-playing Indian chief any day!
13). Would you rather...Wait a minute, Graciegirl! Mommy needs a nap! NOW!